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  • Writer's pictureEricka Ellis

The Reason You Self-Sabotage

If you struggle with discipline, then it’s safe to say, it's likely you struggle with self-sabotaging attitudes and behaviors. The reason you have not accomplished your goals is not because of another person, circumstances, or resources. It is because of your self-defeating mindset.

In a sense, you’ve mastered discipline, but discipline in reverse, which negatively disrupts your progress. When you neglect to stay disciplined to your goals, you undermine your progress for the sake of instant gratification, that ironically leads to immediate frustration.

For example:

Skipping a workout for happy hour.

Shopping instead of saving for your business.

Scrolling on social media instead of writing.

Those things seem enjoyable in the moment, but shortly thereafter, regret sets in because your actions contradict what’s necessary for the desired goal. That is the consequence of sabotage – it disguises itself as a relief from unpleasant responsibilities or emotions such as insecurities, fear, and boredom – but it is truly meant to set you back.

If you struggle, time and time again, with seeing true progress in your life, then it is imperative to pay close attention to what you are doing (or not doing) that has made you unproductive and stuck. As I’ve addressed my own bad habits, I had to learn the importance of sacrifice. Since my discovery, I no longer associate the act of sacrifice to punishment. Now, I understand sacrifice is a means to progress.

I’d like to think sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. But for some people, and maybe you can relate, sacrifice feels a lot like suffering. So, you resort to immediate comfort that causes you to compromise the good of the goal. Maybe you grab the bag of Doritos instead of the fruit. Maybe you binge watch Netflix instead of completing your schoolwork. Maybe you surf the internet instead of writing that blog.

No matter the example, if you do not perpetually value sacrifice, you will delay your progress with sabotaging behaviors any time you experience symptoms of stress.

You have to get extremely real with your weaknesses/triggers and have a plan in place to overcome those triggers. If you are tempted to sleep more than work, plan to work on your patio, or your local park so you won’t sabotage your consistency and progress. If you snack more than you should according to your weight loss goals, meal prep and have healthy snacks at your disposal.

Most times, when people sabotage themselves, it’s because the alternative solution is convenient. Take a moment to analyze ways you could fulfill any of your needs or urges more proactively. I encourage you to self-reflect to better understand your areas of struggle and how to combat those triggers to be successful in your pursuits.

Some examples include:

Anticipating the times you most likely self-sabotage and set yourself up for better choices.

Frequently asking yourself,

“Why am I doing this?

Is this what I really want?

How will I feel if I give in or ignore my responsibility?

What need am I trying to generically fill?”

Those kinds of reflections keep you intentional and clear on your overall goals. When you value consistency more than you do convenience, you will see how those choices pay off big in the long run.

Choose to honor and respect yourself more, knowing you are worthy of achieving your goals, so you can stop settling for temporary satisfaction.

I say this with Godly love, you do not want to look back a year from now and realize YOU were the only roadblock to achieving your goals or pursuing the calling over your life.

You got this! It's time to grow forward!

Love you, girlfriend,



Gorgeous Howard
Aug 16, 2020

Honestly, I needed this! Thanks CK! Keep pouring !


Angel Price
Aug 12, 2020

Amen, that was right on time. Thank you so much, please keep fulfilling your purpose.

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